This only started in November 2015 with the release of Justin Bieber’s Purpose album. I downloaded all the popular songs and now I’m finding more. Particularly, “I’ll Show You,” which has a cool 193 million views.

This kid is crazy. So much talent and I am so in awe of how he writes and creates music that stirs the soul and is so darn relatable as well as great to dance to.

I have one t-shirt with his famous face and am considering getting another one with a different design.

I know I am 42 years old. This guys is 20 years younger than me, but I feel he is so much older in many ways. Maybe that’s the fame. But I don’t think so.

His voice is so pure, his silliness so silly, but at the heart of it, he speaks many truths. “This life’s not easy, I’m not made out of steel. Don’t forget that I’m human. Don’t forget that I’m real. Act like you know me but you never will but there’s one thing I know for sure. I’ll show you.”

Maybe I’m just at a point in my life where I feel like I’m really alive and really myself and it’s taken 42 years to get it. It’s been so worth the wait. I love this stage of my life. I’m grateful for all the hurts that have come before, all the charred remains that I often felt were my cross to bare. Because of my bipolar, I feel more than most, hurt more than most but also live more than most.

I am proud of that. Proud. Perhaps it’s the one word I would wear on my back or just about anywhere. Never more proud than right now. Three books. A YA fiction series. Two beautiful children. My physical and mental health and now the warmth of the sun on my back in the garden.