About a week ago, I finished my third Mabel Hartley story, and I have to say that the exhilaration of finishing the story put my little brain on overdrive for a while.
I sat down tonight and tried to figure out why I’ve been so tired this week. I celebrated my 42nd birthday yesterday, my daughter’s birthday is coming up on Friday, we had our first camping trip on the weekend, and in all of this, I didn’t once think about Mabel. Well, I did a little but it was more like feeling immense relief and quite a bit of loss.
I miss her now I’m not streaming direct from her brain every day. I miss the conversations she has with Hugh, I miss the anticipation of knowing how the story is going to end in detail. I miss the urgency to come to the computer and write, the futility when I can’t write no matter how much I want to, but most of all, I miss the sense of discovery of the research, my imagination and my friends Mabel, Tabby and Hugh, and I do think about how long it will be before I finish researching the next story and get to catch up with them again in their time zone.
As a classic introvert, who spends most of her time alone, venturing back into the world now I’m not “writing” has been difficult. “Re-entry” is what my friends and I call it when our families go away for the weekend and then come back.
And now I’ve had a chance to think about it, I realize this is a cycle of creativity, of passion, of belonging, and it’s seasonal too. I guess that’s why initially I dread the summer a little, because it means saying goodbye to Mabel for a few months while my kids are home. There will only be so many summers with my kids, and that’s why I give up Mabel for the summer, but I do miss her now, but I know she’s safe and perhaps a little bent, but always ready for the next adventure.